The last thing I ever wanted to write...

I knew things hadn't been going well for a few weeks. Barry was distant and it seemed liked he had too much on his mind. For the millionth time I wished I was a telepath, like him. I asked him what was going on and each time it seemed as though he distracted me. I admit, each of Barry's kisses and every touch just wipes away all thought. Lately his kisses had become more urgent, even rough, and while I'd never been one to shy away from raucous sex, it worried me. He was gone so many late nights between the hotel and "secret" meetings with Stan, that I was not allowed to know anything about. How frustrating. But what right did I have to complain? It wasn't as though we were married, and being the telepath for a vampire king was an honor. I couldn't expect to always be included.

But the secrecy had me worried....

He came home late that night. As usual, I had dinner ready in the kitchen and for the life of me, I can't remember what it was now. When I heard the door, I'd rushed to meet him. His face was pale, and his eyes were red. He looked exhausted, yet his eyes were blazing with a look I'd never seen before. "Barry...what's wrong?" Ignoring my words, he took a step towards me, wrapping his arms around me tightly, too tightly. My chest ached and it hurt to breathe, I had to push on him to break the hug. "Barry, you're hurting me!" Finally, he released me and I sucked in air. Still he hadn't said anything. "You're scaring me, B. What's going on?" He took my hand and led me into the living room and sat down, pulling me to sit next to him. I remembering thinking: This is bad. This is really, really bad. A knot had grown in my middle, feeling like an anchor sinking me down. He held my hand and I stared at it. When he spoke, his voice was rough, sounding unfamiliar and coarse.

"Stan is sending me away, Sug'. He needs me to go overseas, I can't tell ya where. But ya can't come with Evelyn." At first I was angry, and I snapped back "What do you mean I can't come? That's ridiculous. I go where you go." His eyes never left mine while he talked "No, ya can't. I have orders from Stan to go alone. It's too dangerous for you to come with and ya need to move in with the Nest. I already put Taylor into hiding."
I yanked my hand away, and stood up, feeling hysterical as I yelled back at him. "You sent our daughter away? Where? Without telling me? How long are you going to be gone, Barry!"

Here he looked away and my eyes filled with tears at his words. "Permanently". I stood in shock, staring at him while my vision got cloudy, my mind reeling with his words. They rang over and over in my head and I sat where I stood on the ground, looking up at him. "You're leaving me? Forever? Barry... you're breaking up with me?" Without meeting my gaze, he nodded. "Sug... this is that last thing I want to do but I have no choice. I'm not going to make you wait around for possibly years for me." He stood, and pulled his arms around me, holding me while I sobbed, telling me that he loved me, and that it was for the best. I barely heard him through my racking sobs, and before I knew it he was packing up a suitcase and walking out the door, leaving me alone in his house that I had known as my home...

To my friends:

Special shoutouts to those I love, in no order!

D- Thank you so much for the time we had together. You brought me back to RP and made me SO freaking happy here. You're a fantastic person, and I love you hon. I understand about the schedules and I hope you know that. You'll always be my friend, and I really hope we stay in contact. We have so much in common and I'll always remember the many late nights spent text messaging. You gave me my best months on twitter, and in Evelyn's life. Thank you, so much! http://blip.fm/~xt035

Mempf- You're my RL bestie and you KNOW I love you. I'm so glad you came to the RP world with me. It's not the first online community we've joined. *grin* I can't wait until we live closer! We've had our RL and RP ups and downs, but through it all, you'll always be my, and Evelyn's best friend! http://blip.fm/~xt05c

Sookie- You came out of no where girl! And you command this place. People respect you as a leader and enjoy your RP. You're fantastic and I'm so glad Barry got the wrong @ those months ago because I'm so grateful to have you as a friend. I love that we can tell each other practically anything and that you can vent to me, and I can vent to you. You're amazing, so keep up the good work hon! http://blip.fm/~xt0yr

Jai- JAI! I don't even know what to say to you because you're so amazing. I'm ecstatic that you're my friend, and I hate our timezone difference! We've had some hilarious moments here (*stab stab stab*) and I'm glad we can talk about darn near anything, be it RL or RP. I know sometimes around here things suck, and it's like a mobius strip but it always loops back around and the highs are great, and the lows are worse. I hope that you can get your groove back because I know Evelyn misses you! http://blip.fm/~xsyau

M- We've just started RPing together but you should I think you're pretty awesome! I love that you let me do what I want and we can play so well off each other. You're clever and smart and fun to talk to, and I hope we stay this way! http://blip.fm/~xt1mj

Liv- I think it's funny that you and I are such good friends, yet Liv and Eve have never actually met! You're my longest friend on here and you're right, we've been through a lot, and yet still remain so close. You are inspirational and all RPers should strive to be like you. You are drama-free, and have ingenious story lines and ideas. I know RL has kept you away, and for that I'm happy for you! I'm glad you have so much good going on, even if I miss you terribly! http://blip.fm/~xt0gc

Ben- I'm sorry that things worked out this way, but know that I'm glad for the time we had, and I will miss you. http://blip.fm/~xt16z

Murf- You are a creative RPer and I'm glad you and I have been friends for as long as we have! We've had some really funny times (Where's my money!) and I know drama has been high lately for your family, but I hope we can still be friends! http://blip.fm/~xsydv

Sassy- I miss my vampy kisses, Sass! I'm going to try to be on more often, but I do love to watch you and Zen! *blows witchy kisses* http://blip.fm/~xt0qj

Cyndi, Bree & Jason, Trispirit, Tabs & Ana, Pixie, Hadley & Matt, Bubba, Gabe- I've missed you all lately but know that I still consider you my friend and I hope we can talk more often! I love watching all of your story lines, so please keep up the good work! http://blip.fm/~xsyc0

Please don't take offense if I missed you. There are tons of others who I enjoy watching on stream because, lets face it, we're all awesome!

Closure

In an act of good faith, in order to let go of past drama and hurt, I've unblocked anyone I can think of. I've slowly been unblocking over the last months and I think I may have gotten everyone but it's possible I've missed a few. If I've missed some one, and you know a way to get in contact with me and would like to be unblocked, please let me know.

Having said that... Ever since Evelyn moved to Texas 3 months ago she's been 100% drama free. I intend to keep it that way, so if I've unblocked you, and you still would like to cause trouble-- don't. Re-blocking is easy but I want to rebuild bridges if it's possible.

The Story of Eve

Where to start? Well, why not from the beginning. On the edge of my one year anniversary as Evelyn, I'd like to tell the story about who I am, and how I came to be.

I've been on Twitter for 19 months, and started RPing soon after. I honestly can't remember where I learned about Twitter since some celebrities were on it at the time, but not as many as there are now. I do know I started because I had, at the time, a crush on Robert Pattinson (it was my young and stupid days *wink*) and when I found a fake account of "his", and saw him talking to a Bella, I learned about twitter RP.

I joined a Twilight roleplay group and became addicted. Spent many late nights pretending to be characters out of the young adult series. But as many of us have learned, trying to work within the confines of a book character is very constricting and stifling to the creative vibe. Within a few months, I'd expanded out into other universes, until I found TrueBlood RP. I started off as a vampire but since I hadn't watched a single episode of Trueblood or read any of the books, I was always messing up. So I started back over as a human, a naive human who'd had little interaction with vampires, and began to learn the rules and etiquette. Now I'm up to date on all the books and episodes.

My human character lasted for only a few months before I got bored so I created someone new. I knew I wanted to be a witch but after reading the books, they hadn't explained much about where Amelia Broadway was drawing her magic from. They touched briefly on the Wiccan religion, which I know nothing about. So it made it difficult to play that character. I decided to integrate a different series to fill in the holes Charlaine Harris had. This is why Evelyn is a mix of the Trueblood roleplay, and Kim Harrison's Hallows series. The way I rationalized it in my head was Evelyn is a Harrison witch, living in the Harris world.

Here's her abilities:
Evelyn draws her energy from ley lines, which she can either balance herself by pulling it out of her, or spindling it in her head and using it later. I wanted to keep her from being all powerful, so I gave her limitations. She can't hold energy over or in water where she's not touching the ground, or an extension of it. For instance, on a boat or swimming in a pool, she can't, but bathing in a tub she can. She can't manipulate technology, and salt water dissolves any spells she is carrying.

Originally, Evelyn was an independent runner, who recovered kidnapped kids, etc etc. But without clients, it got boring. I'd read in the Harrison books that the main character went to a charm shop and that's how I came up with SouthernCharms By Evelyn. From there I went through my old Dungeons and Dragons books, Harry Potter spells, and the Harrison novels for spell ideas. (I have about 50 charms I need to add to the site, but have just been too busy, or lazy haha, to do it)

So that's Evelyn Dawn Valmont. In the last year, she was married, turned into a vampire, then a demon, then an angel, and now an adoptive mom. Full circle, right?

Jar of Hearts

No I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I would have missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are

I Hate You (My Friend) by John Oszajca

No one here likes you
Go away
Get a clue
Go back to your fucking zoo
Or whatever it is you do

I don't know why
I don't like what's in your eyes
and I'd love to split 'em wide

I could pretend
Can't you understand
I hate you, my friend

And some call it obsession
And some call it pure hate
And others call it pathetic
But some totally relate

I'd rather go to hell
Than shake your hand or wish you well
In case you couldn't tell

Go ahead boy drink your drink
Go ahead boy do your thing
Can you ????
and the words to every song I sing


I could pretend
Can't you understand
I hate you, my friend

And some call it obsession
And some call it pure hate
And others call it pathetic
But some totally relate

No one here likes you
Go away
Get a clue
Go back to your fucking zoo
Or whatever it is you do

I could pretend
Can't you understand
I hate you, my friend

I hate you, my friend
I hate you, my friend

IT'S NOT ME

Give it a rest already. Get a new hobby. Fuck with a new person, and leave me alone.

Y'all are dead to me. You never existed. MEANING if someone answers a poll question with a response that you know shouldn't have been on there in the first place, it wasn't me.

If someone says something to you about me, IT'S NOT ME.

If someone asks a question on a formspring, or makes a comment on a tweet, or ANYTHING ELSE, IT'S NOT ME.

Get it?

And before you retaliate, it's not Oz either. He's not on twitter anymore. Believe me, or don't, I honestly don't care. But leave my real life out of it. It's no one's business. Roleplay is about escaping real life so please, shut the fuck up already.